Excalibur: A Starbuggers Production
Note: This story takes place one year and eight months after the events of "L4D Space Adventure Mod!" and 95 years after "Starbuggers" begins. (Camera pans out slowly showing an asteroid belt, a manuscript scrolls up the screen saying: On Stardate 2424, after a series of unfortunate events in the vicinity of an asteroid belt, the Federation Starship USS Italian ''(NCC-1707) went missing. The crew hasn't been heard from again for almost two years now. The USS ''Excalibur (NCC-1705), a Phase-II Constitution-class heavy cruiser, has been sent on a mission to locate the missing ship and crew.) And so, the story begins... (Opening Titles and credits, Star Trek The Next Generation Alternate Main Theme begins playing) Act 1: Arrival (Opening shot shows the Excalibur maneuvering through an asteroid belt) Capt. Rodney Chance: "Captain's Log, Stardate 2425.7. The USS Excalibur ''has been dispatched to the last-known position of the USS ''Italian ''to locate the ship and its crew, salvage it, if possible, and uncover the cause of its disappearance. So far, though, we have nothing. But we must not lose hope. Our goal remains elusive. When will it end? End Log Entry." Lt. Cmdr. Meatball: "Captain, I'm getting a reading emanating from the surface of the asteroid bearing 359 Mark 215, it appears to be a radiation anomaly of some sort." Rodney: "Very well, lay in a course for that asteroid. Lieutenant, prepare the transporter room and assemble a landing party. Commander, you're with me. Meatball, you have the bridge." Cmdr. Spork, Lt. Foxy, and Meatball: "Aye aye, sir." (Impulse engines engage, ''Excalibur heads for the asteroid) (Landing Party enters Transporter Room) Rodney: "Energize." (The party is transported, they end up inside a pizzeria) Rodney: "This is really peculiar... Since when are there pizzerias on asteroids?" Spork: "The only logical explanation would be if this was a holographic trap, or the pizzeria was transported here like Martha's hospital was taken to the moon." Rodney: "Oh, right, that could very well be possib - Wait, What? I don't remember that being in the ship's log!" Spork: "Doctor Who reference, Captain. You should look it up sometime later on." Rodney: "Noted." (Everyone keeps looking for the anomaly's source) Lt. Cmdr. Info: "I believe I have found the source of the anomaly, Captain." (Everyone stares in sight of the burning, scorched wreckage of an unrefitted Constitution-Class Starship. The writing on the saucer reads: USS ITALIAN NCC-1707 STARFLEET COMMAND The ship has apparently crashed onto the asteroid and plowed through the pizzeria's stage in the process.) Rodney: (surprised) "My Gosh! Did anyone survive this?!?" Spork: "To be determined. What I'm interested in is the condition of the wreckage." Rodney: "Even though it looks bad, I'm happy to say it is salvageable - we might even be able to make temporary repairs and get it off the planet... after we find the survivors." Info: "Though I am unable to enter the wreck due to my fragile parts, I am fairly certain that the anomaly is the exhaust plume coming from a burnt-out warp core in the ship. Besides, if I could go inside, I would not be able to stay for long since I require a battery charge in the morning." Rodney: "Very well. Mr. Info, you'll be going back to the Excalibur ''to get recharged.'' Everyone else, spread out. I'll enter through this breach in the main deflector." Spork: "I'll go in through the docking port." Cmdr. Toasty (Son of Johnny Toast): "I'll head for the shuttlebay." (Everyone enters the wreckage) (Rodney reaches the engine room) Rodney: "There's the core... This'll definitely be a summertime project during the break from Starfleet Academy: and an expensive one." (Something moves in the background) Rodney: (pulls up phaser): "Who was that?" Voice: "You know who I am, Captain." Rodney: "Show yourself or get stunned, um... whoever you are!" Voice: "I took over the Italian, ''took the crew captive, and I generated the radiation anomaly. The crew may have escaped, but now, your crew and your ship is next. My name... is Khoin." (Dramatic Fanfare: DUN-DUN-DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!) Act 2: Survivors Rodney: "Um... Khoin? I've never heard of you before! You're not in the records of Starfleet Command!" ("Tomfoolery" from Spongebob begins playing) Khoin: *facepalm* "Of course you don't, only the crew of ''Italian ''knows of me. I'm the skeleton of the one you all know as Khan Noonien Singh." Rodney: *openmouthed, stares in disbelief* "Khan." Khoin: "Of course! I was an impostor crewmember aboard this ship of your Federation. Admiral Kirk of the starship ''Enterprise did not know my skeleton had lived after the Reliant blew up, so I wandered the universe, looking for another body, and took the chance of destroying this ship - by Klingons." Rodney: "So you're telling me you took the crew hostage just for their skin?!?" Khoin: "In a word, yes, even though their captain said he would return me to my skin." Rodney: *heavy breathing, gets angrier and angrier.* "KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!!" (Rodney's yell echoes through the whole wreckage) Faint Voice: "Captain Spaghettiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!" Rodney: Hello? "Is someone there?" (Crewmember emerges from a pile of rubble beneath the floorboard with some TNT in his hand) Ensign Issac: "Oh man, I thought the captain was in trouble and I was going to get to blow up something after all!" Rodney: "Who are you?" Issac: "Ensign Issac Frye of the Federation Starship USS Italian. Who might you be?" Rodney: "I'm Captain Rodney Chance of the Federation Starship USS Excalibur. We were looking for your ship for weeks now, and now that we've found it, or what's left of it, we're looking for survivors." (There is a loud bang from behind, both men point their phasers toward the source, Toasty emerges from the obviously destroyed turbo-lift, music stops) Toasty: "Yeah, we're here to rescue you!" Issac: "Rescue?!? AWESOME! I thought we'd be stuck here forever!" Rodney: "Well... errrrrr... that was weird, and where the heck is Khoin?" Issac: "He must have run off somewhere." *whispering* "Something tells me that Daleks were here-" Rodney: *interrupting* "OK, then, never mind him. Are there any other survivors, Ensign?" Issac: "Yes. The entire bridge crew survived, and so did everyone else aboard. The local zombie population once here thought they had gotten us, but little did they know that they had slaughtered a decoy crew. That plan was Virgil's idea." (Spork emerges from a door on the other side of the room) Spork: "Virgil?" Issac: "Our ship's AI system. Made from an improved HAL 9000 system we recovered from a wrecked nuclear ship from a parallel timeline." Spork: "I see... I suppose he may want to meet Mechjeb, our own AI system on the Excalibur." Issac: "You have an AI system too?!?" (Issac hears a mysterious grinding and whooshing noise, and a deep, ground - shaking thud.) Issac: *concerned* "Um... what was that?" Rodney: "Never mind that right now, let's find the others." Issac: "Right. They're all in the shuttle-bay, and I was patrolling the wreck for any enemies. Let's go give them the good news." (Issac notices a dark blue, scorch-marked phone box with a flashing beacon on top that previously wasn't there. Just as they leave to inform the others, he notices what the writing on top says: POLICE BOX.) (Next scene shows the situation about an hour later, the Excalibur ''in orbit with a ''Miranda-class frigate alongside it) Rodney: "Captain's log, supplemental. We have located the USS Italian, ''which has apparently crashed on an asteroid colony, though there were no fatalities. The USS ''Lantree ''(NCC-1837) has arrived to assist with beaming aboard the crew. Here's what we know if its disappearance: Khan's skeleton, known as Khoin, posing as an impostor, took over the ship and lured a Klingon bird-of-prey to destroy the ''Italian. ''Though he is missing at the moment, such an act is an act of war, and we will find him, soon enough. End Log Entry." Rodney: "I assure you, Captain, the ''Italian ''will be salvaged by the fleet." Capt. Venturian Spaghetti: "Thank you kindly, sir." Meatball: "Captain, there's another radiation signal like the one on the ''Italian, ''except... it's coming from the middle of the Neutral Zone!" Rodney: "The Neutral Zone?" Where?" Meatball: "According to these scans, from the Gamma Hydra sector. Specifically, the Skarosian system." (Metal Gear Solid Alert plays) Issac: "Aha! I knew it! I knew there were Daleks on our ship! I just freaking knew it!" Rodney: "We'll have to go see for ourselves what this new signal is, then." Spork: "If we do that, we'll be in violation of treaty with the Romulans. Going into the neutral zone without being ordered to would be illogical." (Mechjeb switches on) Mechjeb: "There is an order coming in from Starfleet Headquarters. The Fleet Admiral of Starfleet Command is ordering the ''Excalibur to investigate the anomaly in the Skarosian system. Don't worry about the neutral zone, he has assured the Romulans to let us pass, as he has let them know we are a Federation Starship on a mission-of-mercy. He has sent out a salvage fleet to raise the Italian while we are gone." Issac: "Nice Voice... Never mind. Let's go make some Daleks cry." Rodney: "Well, that takes care of that. Meatball, set a course for the Skarosian system, speed Warp Factor Six!" Meatball: "Aye aye, sir! Course has been set!" Rodney: "Engage!" (A shot from behind the ship shows Excalibur's ''warp engines begin to power up and glow blue, the whole ship begins to stretch longways, and the ship speeds away at several times faster than the speed of light, leaving blue contrails behind.) (A Dalek Saucer is seen entering the shot through the corner of the screen as the camera pans out, a Dalek can faintly be heard shouting, "Destroy ''Excalibur!") Act 3: Near-Disaster Rodney: "Captain's Log: Supplemental. The Excalibur ''has been ordered by Starfleet Command to delibrately head into the Neutral Zone to investigate an anomaly identical to the one found on the ''Italian, ''only this time it is on Skaro, in the unexplored Gamma Hydra sector. End Log Entry." Meatball: "Captain! I'm picking up a distress signal from another Federation Vessel on the emergency channel - in this sector!" Rodney: "Put it on audio." (Radio clicks on) Radio: "This is the captain of the USS ''Repulse ''speaking, to any Federation ship! We have struck a Subspace Mine, and we are caught in some kind of random flux in the space-time continuum. We can't break free! We need immediate assistance!" Rodney: "A Subspace Mine?!? Those things are deadly! Lieutenant, hail them!" (Foxy hails the ''Repulse) Rodney: "This is the starship Excalibur, ''your message is breaking up! What is your location?" Radio: "''Excalibur, ''our position is in the Gamma Hydra area! Can you assist us, ''Excalibur?? ''CAN YOU ASSIST US?!?" (Connection phases out) Rodney: "Meatball, break off course and set a new one for that ship!" Meatball: "Yes Sir!" (''Excalibur ''arrives at the ship's position) Meatball: "We're approaching the ''Potemkin ''now, Captain." Rodney: "On screen." (Viewscreen shows the ''Repulse ''(NCC-2544), an ''Excelsior-class exploratory vessel, caught in a subspace tear in Romulan space) Toasty: "I thought subspace weaponry was banned by the Third Khitomer Accord!" Foxy: "Remind me to launch a protest about this. They're unpredictable - that's why they were banned!" Meatball: "If they stay stuck in there, they'll be smashed into atomic particles!" Rodney: "Right. Lock on a tractor beam and engage at full impulse, immediately!" (Excalibur engages its tractor beam and pulls the Repulse ''out of the tear, which seals itself) Rodney: "Excellent. Now let's assemble a boarding party and look for survivors." (A boarding party beams off to the damaged ''Repulse) Issac (still on Excalibur): "Wait a minute, that was too easy... anyone think this is a hoax?" (The party arrives, but only to find the ship empty and deserted) Rodney: "Um... hello? Is anyone here?" Soldier Dalek: "STAY WHERE YOU ARE. DO NOT MOVE." (Dalek Music begins playing) Toasty: "It's a trap!!!" Special Weapons Dalek: "YOU ARE PRISONERS OF THE DALEKS. SURRENDER!" Spork: "Spork to Excalibur, ''get out of here now! The ''Repulse ''is overrun with... um... Talking Garbage Cans!" Meatball: "Talking ''what?!?" Spork: "They're calling themselves "Daleks," but I do not know if that is what they are." (Interior melts away to reveal the ship in distress is actually a Dalek warship disguised as Repulse) Spork: "Ignore that part about Repulse ''being infested, it wasn't here to begin with! It was a flying saucer in disguise!" Solider Dalek: "WE ARE THE DALEKS." (Issac does an insane wild take as an Ahooga horn plays in the background) Issac: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!! DALEKS!!! PUNCH IT!!!" (The boarding party is beamed out, and the ''Excalibur ''goes to warp immediately, music stops) (Little does the ''Excalibur ''crew know that Khoin is aboard their ship) (The ''Italian's ''Shoe Shiner, Bethany Frye, is doing her usual work when Khoin, now in a body, pops up.) Khoin: "Close call, wasn't it?" Bethany: "Well, at least we're moving again." Khoin: "If you think you're safe at warp, ''think again." (Bethany rushes off to the bridge) Rodney: "Foxy, hail Starfleet Command. Tell them we were pursued into the Neutral Zone by a hostile vessel of unknown origin." Foxy: "Coms are down sir, these "Daleks" are jamming us." (Bethany emerges from a turbolift, out of breath) Bethany: "Captain! Those Daleks are going to catch up to us, and when they do, they will destroy us, so we have to start firing at them." Rodney: "Bethany, we're at warp, they can't catch up to us!" Bethany: "Yes they can, from what some random guy said, they've been building a fleet of ships that have transwarp capabilities and-" Meatball: "Captain, I'm getting a reading I don't understand." (High-Paced shot shows the Dalek warship catching up to Excalibur . It begins shooting at the starship, inflicting heavy damage on it until it drops out of warp, ironically, in Skaro's orbit.) Rodney: "Evasive Maneuvers! Open fire on that ship!" (Excalibur ''engages head-on combat with the Dalek warship) (Dalek ship mysteriously stops firing after a few minutes) Rodney: "...the heck?" Radio: "Captain! This is Cierra! The ''Italian's ''Cook!" Rodney: "You're on that ship!" Radio: "Yep. I used my last bottles of ketchup, mustard, and mayonnaise to short out their power generator. Now have someone beam aboard, get me out of this ''"Puke Yella" place and set the self-destruct on this thing, if there is one. Now hurry, the Captain's gonna cut me off!" (static) Rodney: "Spork, what's our status?" Spork: "Our options are limited, Captain. Our transporters are inoperative, we cannot fire, and we cannot flee. But we can use the torpedo launchers to manually go to their ship." Rodney: "Make it so! We've got to get Cierra and destroy that ship... from the inside." Act 4: Terror on the Saucer (Several Crewmen have gone to the Dalek ship via the Excalibur's' '''torpedo tubes, ironically, Cierra is lingering about in the exact spot they hit) Issac: "At last! The bridge crew is back together and kicking!" Cierra: "Yeah, thanks. Now we need to get the self-destruct on this thing active." Khoin (pops up out of nowhere): "I can help with that." Rodney: "Khoin? I didn't recognize you for a second!" Khoin: "Yes, I was able to get a new skin via I-do-not-know, BUT I ''do know everything there is to know about a Dalek ship's self-destruct, mainly since I was prisoner on Earth when Daleks conquered it in 2150. That's why I escaped with others in SS Botany Bay." Spork: "Riiiiiiiiight." (As they make their way to the bridge, they see the Daleks have captured a multitude of machines throughout history, including the DeLorean from 1985, several TARDIS clones from 1963, 2017, and 2463, some Jedi starfighters from a unknown time in the past, the Mllenium Falcon from the same time as the starfighters, a gold-plated washing machine (which is actually a time machine from Raving Rabbids) from 4096, the Nazis' mystery weapon/time machine Die Glocke from 1944, Galifrey's Genesis Ark from 2010, and some Animatronic endoskeletons from 1987) Rodney: "Where did they get all this stuff at?!?" Khoin: "Didn't you know they possess time travel abilities?" (The crew enters the bridge) Khoin: "These are my prisoners." Dalek Emperor: "TAKE THEM TO THE BIOFUSING MACHINE. THE PRISONERS WILL BE CONVERTED INTO DALEKS." Khoin: "I obey." (Khoin takes them to the brig, where a giant machine with a large, glass chamber waits, making a noise sounding like a Dalek Heartbeat) Khoin (to himself): "This is working better than I thought!" (Khoin shows the crew to a cell) Khoin: "Wait here. I have a plan." Issac: "Okay." (The crew enters the cell, Khoin hits a button that puts up a forcefield blocking the entrance) Khoin: "I'll see you later!" Issac (suddenly frantic): "WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!?" Khoin: "Hahahahaha!!!!!" You've fallen for my trick! Now you shall be Dalek-ized on my word!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" (Khoin exits) Cierra: "I can't believe he lied to us!" Issac: "What's worse: how will we get back to the ship without being caught?" (Doctor Who Middle 8 from 1996 movie plays, the police box from the Italian ''wreck materializes inside the cell, music stops after middle 8 is finished) The Doctor: "Rodney, Spork, Issac, Cierra! Get in the TARDIS, quickly now! Or, ignore me at your own peril. Whatever." (The crew enters the TARDIS, seeing its vast interior, and escape the Dalek prison) Rodney: "But what about the self-destruct?" The Doctor: "There will be time for that. How are you? Anything broken?" Spork: "Shaken a little, but not too badly, thanks to you." The Doctor: *sighs* "I am relieved. I feared I was too late. I'm the Doctor." Issac: "Doctor... You've been tracking us!" The Doctor: "For far too long, friend. When you didn't report back to Startfleet, the High Council sent me to find you. For me, that was nearly 10 years ago." Cierra: "What? 10 years? But that's impossible!" The Doctor: "Yes, but according to history you were Dalek-ized into the Cult of Skaro, survived the Time War, and then after several temporal shifts, were killed in a conversion experiment in 1938. Well, except you, Issac. You time traveled again after the other three were killed, and you could see the future. You were killed when my 10th incarnation destroyed Davros' superweapon and wiped out their fleet. I came to change that." (The TARDIS lands back on the ''Excalibur's '' bridge) The Doctor: "Go to the Maloney Nebula. The Daleks and Khoin have teamed up together and have a base there. If your fleet can destroy the base, the Daleks' whole network will be smashed to atomic particles." Rodney: "Right away. Good Luck." (The TARDIS disappears, and the repaired USS ''Italian ''drops out of warp. The crew witnesses the ship's arrival from the viewscreen) Issac: "About Time!" (Meanwhile, the 10th Doctor leads a ship from the past into the current time, with some difficulties aboard) (Camera shows a ''Firefly-''class ship travelling through the time vortex with the TARDIS in front) Capt. Maloney: "Why are we slowing?" 1st Officer Mari Tann: "The engines are beginning to show signs of stress!" Maloney: "Noted, Number one. Stay on course! We're almost there!" Snake: "Forty seconds to structural collapse! Warp Core Breach Imminent!" Maloney: "Just cool the core as much as you can!" Snake: "Point Taken!" (Snake gets HUGE bags of ice cubes to go and cool the engine core) Act 5: Enter the Acachallas Rodney: "Captain's Log, Supplemental... Again. We have found Khoin, and lost him again after luring us into a trap by disguising a Dalek starship as a Federation ship in distress. Upon orders from this "time lord" known as the Doctor, we have assembled a fleet of ships, led by the USS ''Enterprise, and are approaching the Maloney Nebula to destroy the Khoin-Dalek alliance's battle station at all costs. End Log Entry." The 1st Doctor (watching from a distance): "Aha! Brilliant! That's what I'll tell the High Council to name our race! The Time-Lords!" (Hops into TARDIS and heads back to Galifrey, thus explaining how the word "Time-Lord" came to be) (Fleet Admiral Papa Acachalla of the Federation Spore Ship USS Puke Yella ''(NCC-!!!!), a ''Crossfield-class science ship, does a fleet accountance check before entering the nebula) ("Thunderstruck" by AC/DC begins playing) Fleet Admr. Papa Acachalla: "Alrighty boys, let's do a roll call. USS Puke Yella ''ready with attack shuttles." Capt. Melon: "USS ''Hood ''(NCC-1703) Standing by." Capt. James: "USS ''Enterprise ''(NCC-1701-A) is clear to navigate." Capt. Byrd: "USS ''Constitution ''(NCC-1700) Set to go." Capt. Bonkers: "USS ''Constellation ''(NCC-1017) On Awesomeness Mode." Capt. Yunohoo: "USS ''Lexington ''(NCC-1709) Automated and Ready." Admr. Johnny: "USS ''Lantee ''(NCC-1837) checking in." Cmdr. Jenny: "USS ''Repulse ''(NCC-2544) is on full power. " Cmdr. Fredbear: "USS ''Jumpscare ''(NCC-1987) in position, the Bonnie Tank is prepped for air drop." Lt. Cmdr. Billy: "USS ''Defiant ''(NCC-1764) in position and ready, Papa!" Lt. Sally: "WHERE'S MY WAFFLES?!?!?" Billy: "Maddie Friend has some in the escape airlock." Sally: ".................Dang." Rodney: "USS ''Excalibur ''(NCC-1705) standing by." Capt. Spaghetti: USS ''Italian ''(NCC-1707), great to be back folks!" Cmdr. Kerbon: "USS ''We'reGoingToDieOhNoooooooooooooo (NCC-KSP-A) ready for death spin on your mark." Cmdr. Kerbal: "USS OopsWhatAreDosePiecesFor ''(NCC-KSP-B) ready for sideways swiping at your command." (Kerbon and Kerbal look at eachother, camera zooms out to show they are right next to eachother) Kerbal and Kerbon (slapping eachother): "STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! (Suddenly, a temporal rift forms, and a ''Firefly-''class ship explosively emerges from it) Maloney: "USS ''Who's Your Mama 2 ''(NCC-NX01) ready for action!" (Panel on USS ''Who's Your Mama 2 ''throws sparks before the ship cloaks) Maloney: "OOPS! Sorry Admiral, still didn't get the chance to make repairs on this thing yet. Why did I get this dang mission? I'd rather be drinking on Persephone right now!" Snake: "Its for the good of the war, captain. That's what Picard said." Maloney: "Oh, so ''that's ''why you snuck aboard and hid in the cargo hold without my permission! To help us complete the mission, I suppose?" Snake: "Don't mention it." Spaghetti: "Did you say Picard? I know someone named Picard!" Mari: "Should've gotten that last inspection sticker." (record scratch plays, music stops) Rodney: "Mari? I thought you were killed over three years ago!" Mari: "Naw, I was resurrected by the Romulans as a plot to destroy the Federation, but I escaped." Rodney: "......Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight." Maloney: "And someone that called himself "The Doctor" sent us here from 2325 for this battle. From what he says, you lose this battle and are all turned into Daleks. Our ship has a cloaking mechanism that makes up impervious to everything, so we were sent back to help you win." Issac: "How many times will I hear that name?!?" Rodney: "Oh... In that case, join the club, my friends!" Papa Acachalla: "Alright boys, let's Move Out!" (The fleet enters the nebula) Cue: Beautiful sounding music Toasty: "Look at this place..." Rodney: "It's named after a famous starship captain from over a century ago. Besides, perfect name for a snugglers' route." (Cue: another record scratch) Toasty: "Smugglers' route?!? That just made things a lot better. " The flset suddenly gets attacked) Papa Acachalla: "Holy Moly Macaroni!!! Launch the dang attack shuttles!" (The ''Puke Yella ''launches its 100,000 attack shuttles just as the fleet encounters a fleet of Dalek battleships, "Thunderstruck" picks up from where it left off) Rodney: "Shields Up! Red Alert!" (Alarms and Klaxons sound as the fleet opens fire) Billy: "I think I should rip my tounge out and use it for a weapon." Papa A.: "Not yet, son! You won't be able to issue orders if you do that!" (Four-minute montage of the whole battle playing out, the last battleship explodes in time with the end of "Thunderstruck") Papa A.: "YEAH!!! Eat a lil' of that, ya ''Puke Yella Lemon Lovers!! And add some lettuce, sprinkles, ketchup, pickles, and a pinch of salt to that! Yes, I'm that hungry." Rodney: "We can see the battlestation, and it looks like it was built on a budget. What should we do?" (Random Halo Pelican flies in with the Neighbor and Gumball Waterson flying, it flies right into the forcefield and explodes.) (Everyone cringes) Papa A.: "Well we can't send a standard starship in since there's a high-energy forcefield surrounding the station. It will disintegrate whatever it touches. We'll send in the Who's Your Mama 2. ''It has a cloaking system that will protect it from destruction." ("Return of the Jedi" theme begins playing) Maloney: "Aye Aye, Sir!" Snake: "This will be epic." Mari: "Eh, whatever." (''Who's Your Mama 2 ''heads for the station, persued by Khoin's shuttle, which decloaks out of nowhere and resembles a Star Wars Vulture Droid) (''Who's Your Mama 2 ''blocks off Khoin's shuttle, and he attempts unsuccessfully to go around) (Khoin finally flies alongside and fires some torpedoes at the ''Who's Your Mama 2, ''and Maloney throws a switch. A claw holding a TARDIS key comes out the ''Firefly-''class ship's side and scrapes Maloney's signature on the side of Khoin's shuttle, making the TARDIS grinding noise as it does so) Khoin: "Vandals!!!" (Khoin presses a button that says, "Force Field" and a giant boxing fist comes out the shuttle's side and sends ''Who's Your Mama 2 ''flying out of control) (Khoin presses an autopilot button and sits back. ''Who's Your Mama 2 ''returns, and Maloney points to a map and makes a gesture saying that he and his crew need directions. Khoin doesn't understand, so Maloney makes a gesture saying to roll his window down) Khoin (Rolling his window down): "Humans have the worst sense of direction-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (Khoin does the Wilhelm scream as he falls for Maloney's trick and is sucked out into space) Mari (To Maloney): "Well whaddya know, he fell for it! Guess I owe ya five bucks." (Little do they know Khoin is now on holding onto the underside of their ship. They watch as the saucer-shaped station collects Khoin's ship with a tractor beam, activating itself. Six Tesla Coils come out the top, and a huge satellite dish-like laser emitter emerges from the bottom of it) (Inside, a viewscreen says, "ACTIVATE STATION", a Dalek Voice says, "STATION IS ACTIVATED!") Snake: "Captain, did you order satellite?" Maloney: "Negative. I don't even have cable!" (Transmission comes in with White Supreme Dalek, New Dalek Paradigm music plays) Supreme Dalek: "WHEN THIS STATION ACTIVATES IN 5 MINUTES, IT WILL SPREAD A BEAM ACROSS THE UNIVERSE TURNING ALL OF YOU PATHETIC IDIOTS INTO DALEKS! THIS TIME WE SHALL REIGN TRIUMPHANT, MORE SO THAN EVER BEFORE IN THE HISTORY OF THE DALEK RACE... EVEN IF WE ARE A PARADOX OF OUR OWN KIND! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" (Drone Dalek rolls up behind Supreme Dalek and shoots the screen, static) Maloney: "Well CRAP!" Act 6: Saving the Universe Snake: "This seems to be a dangerous and deadly mission requiring a brave heart, a clear mind, and nerves of steel! Oh, good luck Captain and Lieutenant, I'll keep the engine running!" (Maloney puts on a space suit and a jetpack and exits from the hatch to the ship's roof, and sees Khoin pointing a gun at him, alien-like music begins playing) Khoin: "You tricked me!" Mari (from behind) "Aye, what's up, Darth?" Khoin: "Now I'll have to incapacitate you with my Waffle Gun!" Maloney (to audience): "Ain't that cute?" (The waffle explodes, throwing Maloney backwards and into a wall) Maloney: "Of course you realize this means war!" (Maloney pulls out a sonic screwdriver) Khoin: "A sonic probe? Useless!" (The screwdriver transforms into a lightsaber) Khoin: "Oooooooohhhhhh." (Mari pulls out an electric crowbar and she and Maloney fight Khoin's waffles. Meanwhile Toasty is watching the battle play out on ''Excalibur ''and sucking his thumb) Toasty: "What am I gonna do? What would Johnny Toast do? What would Toast Busters do? (sees some Gmod thrusters with fuel tanks on top of them leaning up against the wall) Wait a minute, I AM Toast Busters!" (Toasty transforms into a blue and black superhero form wearing a red cape and straps on one of the "rockets", "Toast Busters" music plays) Toast Busters (Pointing towards the sky on his tiptoes): "YES! I'm going to be the hero of this predicament! Toast Busters to the rescue!!!" BOOM! (his rocket blows up, leaving him smoking, black, and wide-eyed. music stops) (Music starts again as he straps on a second rocket) Toast Busters (slightly distorted): "Toast Busters to the rescue - " BOOM! (rocket explodes again, his clothes are smoking, tattered and he is dizzy, music stops again) (Fail sound effect plays as he straps on a third rocket) Toast Busters (very distorted): "Toast... Busters!" BOOM! (rocket explodes again, now only his underwear are left, and he is covered in very smoky soot and is frustrated) (He stares angrily at a fourth rocket) Toast Busters: "Stupid." BOOM! (rocket explodes again, scene cuts to Toast Busters flying out of the ship, now perfectly fine, undamaged, and with a working rocket, long "Ta-Da!" chord plays) Toast Busters: "Haha! It's you-know-who to the rescue! (points to his rocket) It helps if you don't say the name." (Meanwhile, Khoin's waffle gun has gotten the better of Maloney and Mari, who have each eaten a waffle by mistake and were knocked unconscious somehow, leaving them unable to fight in space) Khoin: "Disgusting Humans. Now to neutralize that troll!" (Khoin presses a remote that causes two of the Tesla Coils to activate, but Toast Busters lands between them and absorbs their energy, only to rip them from their mounts, they attract themselves together like magnets and he gets smashed in between therm) Toast Busters: "Oh... this can't be good." (A third Tesla Coil zaps him and the other two coils, which are stuck together, explode. The camera zooms in on Toast Busters, whose mouth came detached in the explosion. Sad Trombone Sound effect plays) Khoin: "Now the station will beam the universe into a Dalek-transforming glow!" (Dramatic music starts as station begins to count down from 10 rels, the inside view screen reads, "ENGAGING". Toast Busters flings his mouth at the laser emitter's center needle, where it sticks on the needle's tip facing away from the station bottom. The mouth breathes in and its cheeks inflate as it holds back the station's energy) (Inside the station, the Dalek Paradigm, consisting of the Orange Scientist Dalek, the Blue Strategist Dalek, the Red Drone Dalek, the Yellow Eternal Dalek, and the White Supreme Dalek, monitor the chaos) (Main Viewscreen goes from reading, "ENGAGING" to "OVERLOAD", and Dalek alarms go off, "Davros' Defeat and The Doctor Donna" music begins playing) Drone Dalek: "CRITICAL OVERLOAD! SYSTEM MALFUNCTION! BATTLE COMPUTER SUGGESTS WE ABANDON SHIP!" Strategist Dalek: "IMPOSSIBLE! THIS STATION IS THE FINEST HERE!" Drone Dalek: "BUT THE BATTLE COMPUTER HAS ALWAYS BEEN RIGHT AS WE KNOW IT!" Scientist Dalek: "POINT TAKEN!" Eternal Dalek: "ARE YOU INSANE?!?" Strategist Dalek (making fun of Eternal's Paint): "NEGATIVE, BUMBLEBEE!" Drone Dalek: "NO! ARE YOU STUPID?!?" Eternal Dalek: "NEGATIVE! YOU DARE QUESTION AND CALL ME A BUMBLEBEE?!?" Scientist Dalek: "I DO NOT KNOW WHAT WE ARE YELLING ABOUT!!!" Supreme Dalek: "CAN I SAY SOMETHING?!?!?" Scientist, Strategist, Drone, and Eternal Daleks: "NO!!!" Supreme Dalek (infuriated with his minions): "WHY, YOU LITTLE-!!!" (They have a laser battle as the station is thrown into disarray) (The 10th Doctor watches the calamity unfold from a distance from his TARDIS. After a few minutes, suddenly, alarms go off, the cloister bell starts ringing, and sparks fly from the Console, and the main viewscreen says, "PARADOX IMMINENT" ) 10th Doctor: "Holy Crap! I'm so outta here I didn't even see this!" (Jumps in TARDIS and takes off, although with much trouble) (Meanwhile, back outside...) Khoin: "Working evil makes me so angry!" (Maloney and Mari suddenly wake up and shoot out fire from their mouths, sending Khoin flying into space and on fire) Toast Busters' Mouth: "GULP!" (Toast Busters' mouth swallows the energy, throwing back the satellite dish like an inside-out umbrella) (Inside, the view screen goes from "OVERLOAD" to "KABOOM!!", the station shakes violently and the Daleks are heard screaming) (The station explodes like an ion bomb, the Dalek network is destroyed, Toasty transforms back to his regular self and gets his mouth back before he returns to Excalibur, and Maloney and Mari return to ''Who's Your Mama 2, ''"Toast Busters" theme plays again as the camera faces everyone heading back to their ships) Maloney: "Hold on, is that a crack in time and space?!?!?" Snake: "Yeah, it is! We're going home... I think!" Mari: "Oh crap. Now THIS might not be so pleasant as my last time-travel to the Aztec City..." Papa A.: "HOLY *censored*!!!!!! ALL HANDS ABANDON FLEET!!!!!! BEFORE WE'RE EATEN - Hold up... AM I SERIOUSLY GETTING BLEEPED?!?!?" (Maloney holds up a sign saying, "I DONT GET PAID ENOUGH." before the ''Who's Your Mama 2 ''is sucked up) (The immense gravity generated by the ionized explosion sucks up a passing Klingon ship, sending it back to when the events of "Gmod Star Trek Enterpise Map!" and "L4D Space Adventure Mod!" occur. The Klingon ship destroys the ''Italian ''on 2423.7, casusing it to become the same ship that originally destroyed ''Italian) (The explosion triggers an ElectroMagnetic Pulse (EMP) shockwave, which disables most of the fleet, and the change in history made by Maloney causes a time paradox, which causes a temporal rift to form. Daleks from the Distant Future (possibly from the 2500s) come through and destroyimy most of the fleet. The Excalibur ''initially attempted to fight the Future Daleks, but gets heavily damaged, leading to a warp core breach. The crew has no choice but to evacuate by initiating saucer separation, and the exploding engineering hull throws the saucer into the temporal rift, never to be seen or heard from again. The ''Enterprise ''managed to pick up the survivors and escape from the infernal Future Daleks. Luckily, everyone survives by ejection via the escape pods and saucer separations. Mari, Snake, and Maloney, who were on the ''Who's Your Mama 2, were also devoured by the temporal rift and returned to 2325, five years before "Starbuggers" begins, where they meet an officer of the Old Federation, Captain Jean-Luc Picard, and tell him about Spaghetti, whom he gets to know and comes to meet him as time goes on. Unluckily, back in 2425, after the Future Daleks have finished destroying the fleet, they begin to annihilate everything in their path, causing another Dalek Wars.) (Camera pans out showing an obviously dead and scorched Khoin floating in space and caught on a piece of debris, the destroyed Italian ''in the background, and the Future Dalek invasion fleet advancing across space, basically the "Starbuggers" opening shot) (Text pops up saying: "And That Was How Starbuggers Began!") ''THE END! Or is it? (Credits roll, "Starbuggers" ending music plays, looping over and over until the credits end) (An ending shot shows a spoiler to what happened to Excalibur. ''Immediately after it crashes on an unknown planet during the "Starbuggers", the crew finds out they are in the same spot the second radiation signal was located. Suddenly, they observe a bug-like Dalek bioship drop out of warp, where it scans the crashes saucer before slowly approaching it. The scene ends abruptly.) (One last dramatic chord with last credit saying: No humans were harmed in the making of this production. A few Daleks, but no humans.) Trivia and Crossovers (DANGER: SPOILERS) This is a list of all potential crossovers with Starbuggers, since my good friend ElectricFire 169 decided to make it into Starbuggers Canon (thank you!). WARNING: if you don't want to be spoiled, please, don't scroll down. You've been warned. After the Dalek bioship was stolen by Capt. Maloney and friends in 2330 (as shown in Starbuggers) and the end of the Dalek Wars, the Daleks were forced into submission. However, in 2425, they reawakened, and they attempted to use another biological weapon, mounted on a giant saucer, to transform all living organisms into Daleks, as shown in this story. The station's destruction causes a temporal rift, resulting in a number of possible crossovers: * The Old Federation mentioned in Starbuggers was forced to ally with the Klingons and the Romulans (thus forming Starfleet), but Starfleet fell after the Daleks overtook it. Hence, the Federation was reestablished as an independent force known as "Starfleet Command" sometime between 2330 and 2425. A similar event may have happened to the Romulans and the Klingons as well. * The most likely possibility explaining Starfleet Command's existence is that after the fall of Earth and Starfleet's defeat in 2330, the remnants of Starfleet existed as an expeditionary force with only a few ships stored in a large mothership (used as a command base), which was constantly moving to avoid detection. Starfleet Command was established following the end of the Dalek Wars (thus restoring its lead in technology and its range of fast, powerful starships), though it is still commonly referred to as "The Federation" by several species, including the Daleks, Birds, and Gingerians. However, Starfleet Command, though somewhat militarized, is more focused on research and exploration, as well as bringing peace and protection to its allies. * MAJOR SPOILER: Since the time and location the ''Excalibur's saucer gets transported to are undisclosed, it is possible it could've ended up at the bioship's destination in 2330, which is mentioned at the end of the first episode of Starbuggers. It could've also ended up somewhere else in the Dalek Wars or just somewhere where the two ships happen to encounter eachother. Afterward, the Excalibur wreckage was recovered and studied by what was left of Starfleet's personnel. In desperate need for ships of its own and not just ships that they captuted, they reverse-enginnered the technology found on the ship before destroying it to cover up the incident. Using the reverse-enginnered technology, the remnants of Starfleet rebuilt their numbers and, with the help of the Bioship, Maloney, and his crew, they effectively turned the tides of the Dalek Wars. *MAJOR SPOILER: A Mirror Universe exists where physics are opposite to those of the Prime Universe, and is more barbarian and war-like than the Prime Universe. It was created when the Time Controller Dalek, an advanced Dalek from the future, time traveled to the Excalibur's landing site, fooled the Starfleet forces into believing that he came from the future to warn them that the saucer was an extremely dangerous attacker which was a bigger threat to the universe than the Daleks were. Now corrupted by the Daleks, Starfleet's remnants proceeded to destroy the wrecked ship and the survivors, all in fear. This simple trickery led to the Daleks winning the Dalek Wars, and at the same time, the remnants of Starfleet, the Klingons, and the Romulans found out that it was all a trick. Thus, they became a power-hungry resistance group bent on vengeance and intergalactic conquest, becoming known as "The Acachalla Empire". The Acachalla Empire became so ruthless, barbaric, and powerful that everyone in this new Mirror Universe, including the Daleks, fell to their power. Afterward, the Empire's leader, a corrupted Papa Acachalla, declared Communism on the entire Milky Way Galaxy and forced every single inhabitant of the galaxy to fight and work for the Empire. Resistance and Failure to keep up with work are both punishable by death, to this day. *MAJOR SPOILER: In the Starbuggers world, two universes ripped apart for too long could result in the "Big Crunch", an event where all of reality suddenly collapses and implodes, destroying itself and everything within, including the two universes. Because of this, it is Starfleet Command's Prime Directive to access the Mirror Universe and destroy the Acachalla Empire in order to reunite the two universes, thus preventing the Big Crunch. The only problem is that the Mirror Universe exists in another dimension, and neither side has developed a form of inter-dimensional travel... yet. Category:Gmod Category:Star Wars Category:Star Trek Category:Starbuggers Category:Fan Fiction Category:Awesome Category:Fanfiction Category:Space Exploration Group Category:Script Category:Garry's Mod Category:On Main Wiki